Selfies

Back in the good old college days (actually not that long ago), I followed the popular trend and took a few selfies myself. However since the advent of becoming a parent, issues I used to take for granted such as what our culture believes about projected image and where human value lies suddenly seem overwhelmingly important.

My little baby burrito just turned 7 months recently and each day my protective feelings toward her only grow as I realize the unsuspecting dangers and silent influences that may shape her entire outlook on life as she grows into herself (and away from me).  And today, I just had the thought of how very uncomfortable the idea of taking a selfie is to me all of a sudden.

Why do people spend hours in a room or wherever taking countless pictures of themselves and then upload one (with the perfect angle and lighting) onto social media so that everyone can see a blown up picture of them taking up half their FB page?  I mean, that is exactly what a selfie is right? You're not at a Giants game and its not your graduation... you aren't taking a picture with friends and family. It is literally just a giant picture of yourself of YOU which you just wasted a quarter of your day taking. That everyone can see. Why do people need to see that again?

So my gut reaction to this is really just: people who take selfies are vain and stupid. But then again I don't like that answer because I would just be calling myself vain and stupid, because I used to take selfies as well.

Upon some more reflection, I think the issue lies deeper than my initial judgement (as it almost always does). Today I happened to listen to a radio show from Focus on the Family about Breaking the Busyness Habit and they hit on something very interesting. The show host said that one of the big problems with American culture is that we live in a culture of self-promotion.  Because of mediums such as social media, the need to be constantly doing something (or at least appearing to be "busy") has become an integral tool in our never-ending goal of projecting the perfect image.

Now personally I think selfies are in one extreme. There is nothing wrong with taking pictures to preserve a memory or share what is going on in your life with friends.  What I find uncomfortable and slightly offensive when this "sharing" becomes thoughtless, excessive and devoid of any meaningful content.  For example, taking 20 pictures of your smoked salmon bagel and starbucks-hashtag-100happydays-hashtag-ImsoBlessedtohavefood and uploading that shit every other day. This is as bad as taking and uploading selfies and I roll my eyes at you.

We are all imperfect human beings and the pressure to have an instagram-perfect life is a sad illusion.  Instead of taking time to look outward and consider the people around us, the idea of staying home and taking selfies is far more alluring at times.  True relationships take hard work and we run the risk of people seeing who we really are -- including the blemishes and cracks that don't exist in the world of photoshop and filters.  We project the image of beauty, busy and accomplished because we fear the world will reject us if we are vulnerable and honest about our real feelings.

Anyways, those are my thoughts for the day.  I know I sound cynical and mean at points, but I'm guilty of the same things in my life.  I'm only now starting to realize how unrealistic and impractical my personal standards are.  I am harsh with myself for failing to meet my goals and then I try to hide my failures from others all the time.  But in the end, we are all human and we all need grace...both for others and ourselves.

In the words of AA's famous 12 step program: "progress not perfection!"  Let's move forward together! Hi-ho!